A few months ago, I would have described myself as an easy going kinda gal. Laid back, carefree, head in the clouds, almost lackadaisical... I'm pretty sure I've been called a flower child a time or two. A problem came my way, I knew how to stay calm and typically knew how to handle it. If I didn't, I let the good Lord take care of it, and that was that.
I mean, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, then who can be against us," right?
(Romans 8:31) So why even bother to fill your head with useless worries?
Within these past few months my friends started having anxiety issues, family members started having anxiety issues, and a few others that will remain unmentioned who began dealing with it, and some who were already accustomed to the state of mind. Some were dealing with anxiety so great, they decided to see a doctor and consider medication, others already on medication. I
used to be against this
.
I mean, "Be anxious for
nothing, but in
everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the
peace of God, which surpasses ALL comprehension, will guard your hearts AND your minds in Christ Jesus,"
... right?
(Philippians 4:4-7) Who can't say amen to that?
But lately, I have experienced this condition firsthand.
First panic attack and e'erythang, so I'm a little more understanding of the seriousness of it and why some choose medical advice. I don't understand chemical imbalances, because I've never had one; but I do understand the need for medicine. My brother is a pharmacist for crying out loud. Medicine is/can be necessary, but worry is not and never will be.
For me, it started with an awareness of anxiety. It began with the people around me experiencing and dealing with it, continued with me losing someone because of it, and peaked with constant what if's...
What if this person never comes to their senses?
What if I can't do this?
What if I can't make that payment next month?
I'm sure you've had your fair share of what if's...
What if she's pregnant?
What if he leaves?
What if it is cancer?
What if I have no job next year?
The mind can be a troubling place. My ninth (and tenth) grade english teacher, used to tell me not to think too hard because it was dangerous. Now knowing my personality that was intended to be humorous, but in all seriousness...
Don't think too hard, it's dangerous.
The awareness turns into a progression. Just like sin, you can't "fall" into anxiety.
Sin is learned behavior. Worry is learned behavior. Therefore worry is sin. It is discouragement. It discourages yourself most importantly, but it will spread like wild fire to others. Anxiety links to our future, and prevents us from living presently.
So why do I bother worrying about losing a particular person in my life, or better yet them "letting me go?" If someone wants to be a part of my life, they're going to make an effort.
Why worry about reserving a place in my heart for them if they aren't willing to make an effort to stay?
I deserve someone who isn't scared of making an effort, who wants to make an effort.
Why worry about next month's bills?
Why worry?
"If you find yourselves so loaded, at least remember this: it is your own doing, not God's. He begs you to leave the future to Him and to mind the present."
-George MacDonald
In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus tells us not to worry FIVE times.
"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? Any why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will he not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care about itself, Each day has enough trouble of its own."
.. isn't that the truth? This week has been one gigantic worry after the next for me, but in my attempt to be anxious for nothing, when the going gets tough, the tough get going; so I pick one of these verses and I say them over and over in my head. Or aloud. Even if I look like a crazy idiot repeating to myself, "Do not worry about your life, do not worry about your life," at least I won't feel like a crazy idiot later when I'm overwhelmed with pointless worries.
I leave you with this,
"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious- the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into His most excellent harmonies."
Philippians 4:8-9 (MSG)
